High school activities, life lessons taught

As the fall activities begin to come to an end and with district, state and playoff competitions, it’s important to continue to provide a positive experience for our children.
I have always felt it is important to remember the “why” in athletics.
What are the life skills that are being taught to our student athletes as they participate in high school activities?
Do our coaches and parents prepare their athletes for success after high school?
Are they having fun and enjoying being a kid?
 A few years back I had the privilege to listen and meet Rod Olson at the Athletic Director’s Conference in Denver, Colorado. Listed below are seven of Rod Olson’s “Non Negotiables” for the 21st Century parent. As we close out the fall sports season and begin the winter activities it is important to remember the big picture.
A parent’s job is to work together with the coaches to help the child discover the greatness inside of them and enjoy participating in extracurricular activities. I will list seven of Olson’s important steps for the parent and try to elaborate on each one of them. The time we have with our children passes by quickly and we don’t want to miss out on the opportunity.
1. As a parent, it is important to Show Unconditional Love. A child’s performance does not define who they are as a person. Many times it can be easy for a parent to attempt to live through their child’s successes. I am guilty of being quick to judge or point out what they could of done better. Great parents base their relationship with their child on love, not their ability or athletic performance. A performance never defines the individual, but the way they live their lives and treat others on a day to day basis does.
2. As a coach, I have also tried to stress, “Trust the Process.” It is important to Be Process Driven and focus on development, not talent and results. We need to teach and focus on work ethic and perseverance. When we focus on the process the results tend to take care of themselves and happen in time.
3. Control The Controllables. Teach your child to control the only two things they can control, their attitude and effort. I have always asked for three things from my athletes, attitude, effort and be on time. Not one of those requires athletic ability. If your attitude is good, your effort will be good. If your attitude is bad your effort will be poor. We need to teach our kids and remind ourselves the power of a positive attitude.
4. Parent with the End in Mind. We need to understand that success is defined by what a child becomes, not wins and losses. Athletics is a tool to teach life lessons and if we fail to teach them there is not much value in sports. Our children need to understand the value of teamwork, communication, discipline, time management, relationships, being coachable, being a great teammate, becoming a better person and, last but not least, have FUN and enjoy being a kid.
5. Great coaches and parents understand the importance of Capturing the Heart of the Child. We call this 3-D coaching and it has become a popular topic at many of the coaching clinics. We understand that great coaching and parenting happens at three different levels. Imagine the image of a pyramid cut into three different levels—the base of the Pyramid Level 1 (body) is making sure are children are fundamentally sound.
That both parents and child have a healthy and balanced perspective on athletics. Your family sees sports as an opportunity to build character and qualities needed for life. This is the body and the base of what we do—Understanding the “why,” having fun and working hard to learn the fundamentals of the sport they are trying to master. As they the child develops fundamentally they begin moving to level 2 (mind), which is the psychology of the sport. This is where our child develops confidence, motivation, emotions and goal setting. The top of the pyramid or level 3 is the heart.
This is the body, mind and spirit all together. The child starts to understand purpose, self-worth, values, character, significance and their identity as a person. Great coaches and parents are fundamentally sound with a healthy perspective on sport. They understand how to motivate their child and most importantly are focused on capturing the heart of their child.
6. Speak Greatness into your Child. Let them know you are proud of them when they do something right and not so quick to just criticize when they do something wrong. Great parents tell their kids what they can be by speaking greatness into them. They don’t berate them in front of their peers and constantly tell them what they did wrong.
7. Behave Consistently well before, during and after the competition. Great parents are mature and are a consistent model of what it means to lead morally during competition and at home.
A recent quote floating around on facebook from acoachsdiary.blogsport.com reads, “Too many kids have been taught that the goal of high school sports is to achieve an athletic scholarship. Here is the truth—the goal of high school sports is to learn how to be a better person, better teammate, better communicator and enjoy being a teenager… something you can’t get back.”
The NCAA released an article on the estimated probability of competing in college athletics. Nearly eight million students currently participate in high school athletics in the United States. More than 480,000 compete as NCAA athletes, and just a select few within sport move on to compete at the professional or Olympic level.
These high school figures come from the 2017-2018 High School Athletics Participation Survey conducted by the National Federation of State High School Associations; data from club teams are not included. The college numbers come from the NCAA 2017-2018 Sports Sponsorship and Participations Rates Report.
For example, they estimate that approximately 3.4% of high school boys’ basketball participants will go on to play at an NCAA school (Divisions I,II or III), but only 1.0% of high school participants do so at the Division I level.
This information should be a reminder of the seven steps listed above and the importance of the life lessons being taught. Great parents and great coaches working together can help athletes be better people, better teammates, better communicators, better citizens and learn to enjoy their opportunity to participate in high school activities!